:(

Lately I have just felt sad. The sadness stems from being let go from my job of the last 10 years under dishonest and hurtful circumstances. I have so much anger still inside of me for how much I have been lied to and deceived. I wish I could just forget it all and move on from it, but I am stuck on being mad. I don't want to be mad anymore. I want to move forward. I want to work and contribute to my family. I feel so worthless to them now. I guess there are lessons for me to learn here from Heavenly Father. Perhaps I based too much of my value on the working woman that I was. Maybe Heavenly Father was protecting me from something bigger that I didn't see. Maybe I needed to learn patience and this is His way of teaching it to me. I feel that no matter what I do now, it is never enough. I can clean, do laundry, cook dinner, do dishes, but I still feel like I am such a let down. These are my own feelings, nothing that anyone is saying to me. My heart is just broken. Something so personal to me was taken away. My confidence has been shot and my self-esteem non existent. I try to smile it off, but part of my is still aching so bad that all I can do is cry. I know that the Lord takes care of his righteous and that something will happen for me that will be His will. The lesson that I may be learning here is to rely on the Lord. In my greatest time of fear of the unknown I just need to rely on the Lord and trust in Him. I love my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I have strong testimony of the Restored Gospel and of the redeeming power of Christ. I know that my Redeemer lives and I know that Heavenly Father has bigger plans for me. I know that the Lord blesses His faithful. I have amazing friends and an amazing family around me. Things could be worse. We are all healthy and that is a blessing. Its time for me to be all cried out and to move forward with determination and strength to get the job that Heavenly Father has in mind for me. .................

Nathan is One!

We can hardly believe our lil guy just turned one! He is such a happy guy. He loves to dance, loves playing catch with daddy, loves balls in general, pretty much eats everything and is a great toddler. Oh my.... he is not a baby anymore. We couldn't be happier with our little man!

Mourn with those that Mourn.....

So yesterday was one of those bittersweet days we all have at times. I received a text message from one of my best friends that her father passed away. I was so sad for her loss and was just flooded with emotions and memories of him. He was such a great guy and always made me laugh growing up. I also found out another one of my best friend's grandfather is very ill and probably not going to make it much longer. I cannot help but have a heavy heart for my dear friends at this tough time.

Yesterday my family also celebrated by dad's 57th birthday with a family dinner. I am grateful that I was able to celebrate that milestone with my dad and my family. It was great fun, but I couldn't help but continue to think of my friends and what they were going through. I couldn't help but mourn with my friend as she mourns for her father. As I was driving into work this AM, I was listening to Hillary Weeks (great LDS singer) and I looked to my right and saw the temple glowing on the foggy hill. I was instantly comforted by the Spirit. I know that my family can be together forever. I am comforted by the knowledge that Families ARE Forever and that no matter what, my Heavenly Father will always be there for me.

Now, neither of my friends share my religious views, but I want them to know that their loved ones are or will not be gone from them forever. There is great joy in knowing that we can see those we have lost again. We have a kind and loving Heavenly Father who comforts us and knows what we are going through. I have a great testimony that this life here on earth is just a blink in time as compared to the eternity we have to spend with those we love.

So, to my friends who are having a rough time...I love you! I will keep you all in my prayers.

I love my eternal family.

Families are Forever!

Today

I have chosen this day to start new, fresh, positive and happy.

Things have been going really well for me both personally and professionally. I have nothing to really complain about. I have two beautiful, healthy children, a hard working husband and the gospel. I sit here and I have a hand out from church sitting on my desk...it says "Stop It" as referenced from a talk by Pres. Utchdorf.

 

There is way too much of the above things in the world and in my life. I need to rid myself and my surroundings of all of it and just live for the happiness of living. Each day I tell myself that I will be the best ME that I can be, and each day I seem to get caught up in stupid things that hold me back from truly being happy. I am going to start living each day for just being happy about the blessings of that day. There is so much that I don't do each day that I need to be doing. I need to pray more, read more, be kinder, be more patient and just relax.

 

 

So today is the day that I smile, let the small things roll off my back and look forward to a bright and happy future ahead of me. Besides...how can I not be happy all the time? Just look at the love radiating from this picture! :)

 



Love this video!

Laughter is what makes every day better!

4 Years Old! 6 Months Old!

I can hardly believe that my first born just turned 4 years old this month. Lacey is so amazing. She loves:
books
preschool
friends
playing outside
board games
dancing
Just Dance
singing
getting herself ready each day
her brother
and so many other things!

 

Nathan is six months (in this picture...8 months now). He can sit up, eat solid foods, roll around the floor like crazy, babble, and loves drinking cold water from his cup. He is just the cutest little boy ever and he has the best personality. 

I love my babies!

Music to My Ears

Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment and I got to hear Baby #2's heartbeat! It was simply amazing to be able to experience the great miracle that it is and I am so thankful to my heavenly father for blessing us with another child. Heart was beating strong and baby is doing gymnastics in my belly right now. Motherhood is such a wonderful gift and I love being a mom. My two little ones are amazing!